Saturday, May 5, 2007

Put down that drink son.


The Hunchbacks, who are cleverer than you may expect from their appearance, have been waiting patiently - but it's finally here:

The War on Alcohol.
Fresh from victories in the War on Smoking the troops of the WHO and assorted Christians, scientists and other miserable bastards have lined up for their new battle.

Look through newspapers, read articles online - you see them? 'Alcohol shrinks your brain', 'Alcohol leads to domestic violence' and on and on. Every day there is a new anti-drinking article somewhere. Read the article above.
Who is this fucking collective of Scientists and agitators who think that life should be long and risk free? Get over your own fear of death and then you might live a little. Or, even better, stop being a scientist where you have to make shit up so you can justify your government funding.
Just for the record I LOVE DRINKING. And if that makes me an alcoholic in your narrow definitions then so be it. I'd rather stagger out of a pub after a great night out and be smashed by a truck than live to be 95 eating tofu and sipping green tea. Fuck you.

So - I can't smoke, I can't drink, I can't sit in the sun, I shouldn't eat junk food - or fatty food, should reduce my intake of sugar, shouldn't eat salt... How about I just tie my last non-biodegradable plastic bag around my head and suffocate myself.

From the article:
'risky consumption of alcohol among 18 to 24-year-old men jumped from 40 per cent of patients in 1999 to 49 per cent in 2006'

'Rates for 25 to 44- year-old men grew from 35 to 41 per cent and 22 to 25 per cent in women.'

'Older generations are also a growing concern, with risky drinking among 65 to 74-year-old women rising from 15 per cent in 1999 to more than 17 per cent in 2006 and from 12 to 14 per cent in over 75s.'

See how they throw statistics/numbers out there and you're supposed to go 'ooooohhhh, that'll be Doris up the street she likes her drink'. But what do the numbers say? (And remember these are people presenting at a Doctors surgery.)

1. Up to half of all young men like to go out and get excessively drunk from time to time.
2. As they get older they do it less.
3. 17% of elderly women drink a bit too much sometimes.

WOW!
When will people realise that teenage/young men have a self destructive streak a mile wide that needs to be explored. Doesn't matter what you ban them from doing they'll find something else. Ban drinking - they'll find a different drug. Keep on banning every dangerous activity until you can write a report that '49% of 18-24yr old men skydived at least three times in the last year'. Then you can ban skydiving because it's dangerous too. Oh the joy of a society where 18yr olds sit happily playing scrabble - non-competitively of course.

AND ALSO WOW!
Old women living on their own waiting to die like to have one too many sherries to help them sleep. Let's stop them doing that, that's just awful, they should be ashamed, burden on society, etc etc...

Why not emphasise that 83% of elderly women don't drink too much - which I think is the more stunning statistic. If it was me it'd be Gin for breakfast, Gin for tea, Gin in the bathtub, a Gin at three.

Can't we just be left alone to do whatever supposedly self-destructive activity we want to be doing. Can't we?

I suppose what I'm saying is 'Fuck off and leave me alone'.
Thanks.

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