Sunday, April 29, 2007

Stephen 'spaceman' Hawkins.


Oh dear Lord. Stephen Hawkins, who as far as I know can move one fucking eyelid, had a taste of weightlessness as his 65th birthday present. Did you see this? I'm a wondering what they'll do - surely they won't let him go still strapped to his chair? But then if he's not in his chair won't he flail around and injure people (when you sit at home hiding from the World you think of these things). And then I see it on TV - the cruel fucks tied his arms behind his back and pushed him around like schoolyard bullies. Did he enjoy it? How the fuck would I know? He seemed to drool a lot, is that a good sign?

Back on the ground he was asked how it went. I've no idea what he said because I don't speak robot. Apparently he said 'next stop space'. Wouldn't you be bummed if you were an astronaut on that flight? Fifteen years of training, this is your big moment, your finally going - and there you are on TV pushing a chairbound noddy up the ramp.


I suppose NASA will have to spend a $billion putting a disabled park onto the Space Station.


A doctor I know remarked the other day that Hawkins seems to breathe on his own and that if he truly had complete muscle wastage he should be on a ventilator. I asked him if he was saying that the Prof. was a fraud and he looked at me and smiled knowingly. Could it be true that Hawkins knows that everything he says is non-sensical so he pretends to be desperatley ill so no-one picks him up on it? 'Hawkins yer books are full of shit!' 'Boooo, don't be nasty to him he's in a chair...'


'We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.'
Stephen Hawking


Speak for yourself.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Drew Barrymore is the 'Most beautiful ex-pre-pubescent coke addict no-talent half-crazy plastic surgeried bitch in the universe'




NEW YORK Apr 25, 2007 (AP)— She was born with her acting family's classic beauty, but Drew Barrymore credits her fun-loving approach to life for her No. 1 spot on People magazine's annual "100 Most Beautiful People" list.
"I just think happiness is what makes you pretty. Period," she tells the magazine. "Happy people are beautiful. They become like a mirror and they reflect that happiness."
Barrymore, 32, graces the cover of the issue that hits newsstands Friday. It's her fourth time on the list, but first as cover girl.
Making the cover "made my peacock feathers shine in the golden-hour light and extend to the heavens," says Barrymore.

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IF 'Happiness is what makes you pretty?' then why aren't retards and crazy people more attractive? You dummy, pretty people are sour and aloof because they fucking can be! Who they needing to be nice to? I'm a hunchback, I know how much I have to smile everyday just to avoid getting my ass kicked. You know how many people ever said I was pretty? Yeah, fuck you.

Maybe you're happy because you get paid $15million for every piece of shit comedy/light romance movie you make. That'd sure put a glow on my face, a spring in my step, Hell I'd put a daisy chain on my hump and dance around naked shaking my peacock feathers in the golden...! Wtf? I suppose by the third decade of drug use you must see some pretty weird shit.

Don't get me wrong, in the right dim lighting I think you're quite cute - but the MOST BEAUTIFUL person in the World? Give me a fucking break.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Too Trendy For Me!

Is it just me, or is anyone else sick of these new wave scene/emo (yes im sick of that word too!!) kids who are too good, and just far too trendy, for everyone?!
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure lots of you are cool (and I've got some great friends who are) but fuck me there is a large number of them out there who are just too cool for fucking school aren't there?

I find it hilarious that these fashion victims claim that they praise originality and being yourself, bang on about how they 'hate clones' (go fuck yourself!!) and get the shits up if they see someone else wearing something like polka dots, because they wore it 'before it was popular' (get a fucking grip!). Don't be such a fucking hypocrite! If there is a social group with more of a UNIFORM than u lot, I don't know what it is!!!
Skinny black jeans: CHECK
Dyed black hair: CHECK
Something bright and child-like: CHECK
Polka-dots/stripes/stars/hearts etc (coz u liked them first *wank*): CHECK!

Yeah, you're right, your far too cool for me, practically un-fucking touchable hey?

I also hate that if you wear your hair a bit different, or wear black or anything that's ANYTHING like what they have, they naturally assume that you're trying to be like them. Get over yourselves please!

The pretentiousness that you kids harbor is draw-dropping!!!!

So please, stop flattering yourself and assuming that you're this big social rebel -but of course ure not, you're just being yourself right? Just like all your friends who look EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME as you - who is too good for everyone else, and GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF YOU PACK OF SELF-ADORING CUNTS!

Next fad please...